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March 08, 2023 6 min read

Truthfully there is no topic about which we do not love to write, provided dogs (or cats) are involved, and indeed we can find a way to involve them in literally anything, so really, we always feel very lucky we get to do this. But sometimes we arrive at a topic so perfect, so magically compelling, that the pleasure is doubled, tripled even, and this is where we find ourselves today. Yes friends, we are going to talk about food! Mmmmmmmmm. Food!

Now there have been trillions of words devoted to the topic of human food, and this makes sense to us! There are just so many utterly delicious things, and every culture has made so many culinary contributions to the world, and, well, most of us are lucky enough to get to eat several times a day, and that adds up to a lot! But what of the dogs? We have it on good authority, by which we mean Lucy’s, that the most important meals made and served in this house are hers. Such is her focus she has devised a Dachshund Dual Delivery Drill which she activates multiple times a day; allow us to elaborate. 

Part one, the single bark. It has a particular quality, which although hard to describe, is as distinctive and recognizable as the sound of your child’s voice, or the opening chord of your favorite song. The bark is deployed from Meal Mission Control, a spot outside the kitchen from which she can see the desk from where these words are being written. 

Part two, the paw swipe. Now we wish this too were a single move, but it is to the Drill what a metronome is to music (look at us continuing the musical metaphor!): a repetitive beat, insistent, and impossible to ignore. It is of course deployed up close, thus necessitating her leaving Meal Mission Control and we think this is the reason the paw swipes don’t stop until we return to the spot. Yes, reader, it works: she bashes, we fold, food is dispensed, and the cycle begins again. 

It is through this rinse and repeat regime - where we are the ones getting rinsed 😂 - that we have developed a quite significant range of items which can be used to satisfy The Boss between actual meals, lest she literally explode. And in doing so, we did a ton of research on what’s good, what’s bad, what is to be avoided at all costs, and what can help keep your sidekick in rude health. For no matter how much we say we don’t like the incessant paw swipes, we do, and in any event, they work, so it’s up to us to keep Lucy’s mouth as busy as possible with the right kind of snacks. Here follows the official Lucy The Dachshund Approved King Duke's Guide to Good Food, Snack Edition. Yum!

1. Carrots!

The brilliant thing about carrots is that as well as tasting super yummy, they also require some effort on the part of the puppa. We make ours into little sticks that can be bitten off, but bigger dogs may be able to handle slightly bigger pieces, though only if they are good about chewing! Size accordingly - small is safe - and feel great that a few sticks are a beta carotene-packed powerhouse of pup pleasure.

2. Apples!

Like carrots, we keep these in the fridge for ourselves, and when we noticed how much Lucy wanted to help us eat them, we were happy to share. We cut pieces for her as we go, being careful not to give her any seeds of core, and she is as happy as a clam. 

3. You know what rhymes with clam? YAM!

And you know what else? Yams are YUM. Okay, we’ll stop, but only to tell you that they are one of the best things you can give to your dog, and frankly to yourself. It is ESSENTIAL to cook them first, and we just roast ‘em in their skins in the airfryer and keep ‘em in the fridge. Now should you wish for a quick way to yam dinner day - yes, that’s a thing - then look no further than these insanely delicious Portland Pet Food Gluten and Grain Free Tuxedo’s Chicken and Yam Homestyle Dog Meal. That’s a mouthful, and these easy-peasy ready to serve pouches are a bowl full, as an intermittent or supplemental meal. Trust us, they will love these!

4. Bananas!

It came to us as we were being driven, well, bananas by some particularly unrelenting paw swiping that bananas may be just what the doctor ordered. It turns out we were right. Wonderfully portable and deliciously soft and sweet, these are Lucy’s go-to snacks for when we're walking and she grudgingly lets us share. For though they are fiber-packed, bananas are sugary and too much can be bad for the teeth and the tum. We do a 3:1 banana split and everyone is happy! Well, happyish.

P.S. Speaking of bananas, we love these Pet Relief Peanut Butter Banana Hip & Joint soft chews. They are made with CBD, chondroitin, glucosamine, noni, and organic full spectrum hemp extract to support mobility & promote healthy joints. Lucy is a jumper and these are a lifesaver. Word. 

5. Green Beans!

A tip from our friend Marilyn, who is the String Bean Queen of Queens, we started to cook and slice beans for snacking and mixing into Lucy’s meals, and we have never looked back. She loves the crunch and we love the way they make dinner go further and bring crunchy goodness into every bite. The key here, and with all vegetables for dogs, is to remember NOT to salt the water. No seasoning required, and definitely no garlic, which is toxic*, or butter either, though feel free to add some to your own share! 

*We have included a list of the most common toxic foods at the end of this piece, so scroll if you want to know more.

6. Peanut Butter!

Your author is a new American, and did not grow up with PB&J, but Lucy is an OG American and considers eating PB a solemn act of patriotism. I mean she loves the stuff, but she claims she’s doing her bit, and honestly, we are fine with that. For our rather well-nourished dachshund, a spoon of peanut butter is a once-every-week-or-two-treat, but all dogs should have it in moderation since fat is harder for them to digest. You have been warned!

7. Watermelon!

The juiciest, crunchiest, pinkest snack there is, watermelon is a summer HERO in our house. Like humans, dogs should avoid the seeds and the rind, and like humans, its thirst-quenching magic should be dispensed to the hottest of dogs (the kind with legs!) right from the fridge to cool them down. Totally lush, fat free, and 92% water, they really are a great choice. ROLL ON, SUMMER. 


The main reason this is on the list is Lucy threatened sustained paw swipes until we relented. So yes, cheesing is indeed pleasing, and all dogs can have an unlimited amount <<NO, MOVE AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD, LUCY>>, a small amount every once in a while. Cheese is dairy + salt + fat, which is of course why it’s SO GOOD, but also not great. Still, what can we say but food is love, and a little - yes a little - of what you fancy does you good.

Last but not least, and after all this good nosh, we’d be remiss if we didn’t share with you our brilliant dental chew to help hungry dogs keep their pearly gnashers healthy and bright! It’s not to be eaten, but it is the perfect chaser to any meal or morsel. And that’s snacks, wrapped. Until next time, friends, bon appetit! 

Important note: 

Some common foods are highly toxic for dogs and some are also choking hazards. Please consult your vet for a more complete list, andif in doubt, leave it out of your dog’s diet. 

Never, ever give your dog:


Alliums (onions, leeks, garlic, etc, in any form including powdered)


Grapes & raisins 

Walnuts & macadamia nuts

Raw potatoes 

Chicken bones

Fruit pits & seeds, and thick skins

Tea / tea leaves 




Fat trimmings from raw meat 

Xylitol (sugar substitute in candy, gum, and some peanut butters, check)

Yeast & raw dough 

Moldy food 

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